God help her. She believed him. She went back to Ethan and spent the morning close to him playing cards with a worn deck. Rosa produced from somewhere watching him draw, listening to Rosa tell stories about growing up in Naples with eight siblings in an apartment the size of this kitchen. Ethan listened to Rosa with his chin in his hand and his pencil moving across the page and Emily watched both of them and felt the strange doubled sensation of being simultaneously terrified and grateful which was becoming the defining
emotional experience of her life around noon and Ethan fell asleep on the couch. He did that sometimes sudden complete crashes like a phone hitting zero battery and Emily sat with him until his breathing was deep and even and then she went to find Damian. He was in the room they designated as a monitoring station, standing over a table with Marco and a third man she didn’t know.
All three of them looking at something spread out between them. They didn’t hear her come in. Moving faster than predicted, the third man was saying, “We picked him up on the highway camera 40 minutes ago. He’s not alone.” Emily’s blood dropped 10°. Damen’s head came up. He saw her face. He straightened immediately.
How long ago? 40 minutes, the man said again. Damen looked at Emily. Go back to Ethan. Stay in that room. Lock the door. How close is he? Emily, how close? An hour, Damian said. Maybe less. Go. She went. She went with her heart slamming against her cracked ribs and her hands very steady because her hands had learned a long time ago that shaking was not an option when Ethan needed her.
She went back to the room where Ethan was sleeping and she locked the door and sat on the floor with her back against it and listened for 20 minutes. Nothing. Then the quality of the silence changed. She couldn’t have explained how it was the same silence, technically the same salt air and distant ocean, but it had a different weight now.
The weight of people outside moving with purpose and without sound. Ethan stirred. He opened his eyes and looked at her on the floor. and she saw the exact moment he understood that something was wrong because children who have already survived disaster have a very finely tuned radar for it. She got up from the floor and sat on the bed next to him and took his face in both hands.
“Listen to me,” she said quietly. “We’re going to stay in this room right here together and everything is going to be fine.” He looked at her with those enormous eyes. He reached for his sketchbook. She gently put her hand over it. Not right now, she said. Right now, just look at me. Okay. He looked at her. Good. She said, “Keep looking at me.” 45 minutes.
She counted the seconds in her head, filling her mind with numbers, so there was no room for anything else. And she held Ethan’s hand, and he held hers back with a grip that was stronger than she always remembered it being. And outside the house, the world was doing whatever it was doing. Then glass broke. Somewhere toward the front of the house.
A single sharp impact that could have been almost anything. and was very clearly one specific thing. Ethan’s grip on her hand went crushing tight. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” A sound like a door giving way. Then shouting muffled by a wall’s direction impossible to determine.
Then a single sharp crack that she recognized because you always recognize it once you’ve heard it in the context of your own life being in danger. Gunfire. Ethan made no sound. He pressed his face against her shoulder and she wrapped both arms around him and put herself between him and the door with the automatic unthinking instinct of someone who had decided a long time ago what she would spend herself on.
More sounds running. Something heavy hitting the floor. Another shot then quiet. A quiet that was different from the quiet before full instead of empty. The quiet of something finished rather than something waiting. She held Ethan. She didn’t move. Then from the other side of the door, three knocks. Pause. Two more. Damian’s knock.
He had established it two days ago, casually in passing, and she had noted it and stored it the way she stored everything essential. She didn’t move immediately. Say something, she said through the door. A beat. Then Ethan wants a dog named Thursday. She unlocked the door. Damen was standing in the hall. There was blood on his left forearm.
Not a catastrophic amount, a cut, maybe glass. She cataloged it in half a second. His face was controlled, but had that particular after quality, the postviolent stillness of a man coming down from something necessary and not entirely clean. Ryan, she said, being detained, he said, “Police have been called.
The charges breaking and entering assault, attempted kidnapping, and several associated items will hold this time. He’s not getting out.” You’re sure? Victor Caruso is also having a conversation with federal authorities tonight, which means his ability to fund bail applications has significantly decreased.
His eyes moved to Ethan, who was standing in the doorway behind Emily. “Hey, kid.” Ethan looked at him. He looked at the cut on Damen’s arm. He reached back without looking and picked up his sketchbook from the bed and held it against his chest. Then he stepped around Emily and walked to Damen and stood in front of him. Damen crouched down to eye level.
He said nothing. He waited. Ethan held out his sketchbook, opened to a page. Damen looked at it and Emily, watching from the doorway, saw something move through his face that his control couldn’t quite contain. A sudden, unguarded thing there and try, but real, undeniably real, like a light seen through a keyhole.
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