But then slowly he signed, “Every day. Every single day.” Then why don’t you ever talk about her? Why did you take down all her pictures? Why did you act like she never existed? because it hurt too much because looking at her pictures meant remembering what I’d lost, what we’d both lost. So, you just erased her. I tried to.
I thought it would make things easier, but it didn’t. It just made everything worse. Lily’s hands trembled. I don’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore. Did you know that? I can see her in my memory. Can remember the way she moved, the way she smiled, but her voice is gone. Ethan’s face crumpled. “I’m so sorry.
I should have We should have talked about her. Should have kept her memory alive. I was just so broken and I handled everything wrong.” “Yeah, you did.” Lily wiped her eyes angrily. “But you’re here now, so maybe we can start talking about her together. Maybe we can remember her the right way instead of pretending she never existed.
” “I’d like that. I’d really like that.” They sat in silence for a moment, the grief hanging heavy between them, but no longer isolating them from each other. Clara felt like an intruder on something deeply private. But when she moved to give them space, Lily’s hand shot out and grabbed hers. “Stay,” Lily signed. “Please.
” So Clara stayed, bearing witness to this fragile beginning, hoping it would hold. The progress didn’t follow a straight line. Clara learned that quickly enough in the weeks after the showcase. There were good days when Ethan came home early and practiced signing with Lily over dinner, when they watched old home videos of Catherine and cried together, when it felt like maybe this broken family was actually healing.
And then there were bad days when work consumed him again. When he reverted to texting instead of signing, when Lily retreated into hurt silence and Clara had to mediate between them like a referee in a match. Neither side was winning. He’s doing it again, Lily signed during one of their coffee sessions in late January.
Her hands were sharp, angry, promising he’ll be home for dinner and then cancelling last minute, saying, “We’ll do something together on the weekend, and then spending the whole time on conference calls.” Clara sighed. She’d seen this pattern before. Ethan would make genuine progress, get comfortable, and then slowly let old habits creep back in.
“Have you told him how you feel? Why should I have to? He knows. He just doesn’t care enough to change. That’s not fair. He’s trying. Trying isn’t enough. Lily’s signs were fierce enough that other customers glanced over. She didn’t care. I don’t want him to try. I want him to actually do it. To show up when he says he will. To put me first for once instead of the company.
What if he can’t? What if the company really does need him that much? Then he needs to admit that. stop pretending he can be both the perfect CEO and the perfect dad because right now he’s failing at both. The words stung because they were true. Ethan was stretched impossibly thin, trying to maintain his empire while rebuilding his relationship with his daughter, and the cracks were starting to show.
Clara had watched him fall asleep during their last two sessions, watched his signing deteriorate when he was exhausted, watched him snap at Lily over small things because his patience was worn to nothing. Something had to give. The question was what? Clara brought it up with Ethan the next morning, finding him already at his desk at 6:00 a.m.
, laptop open, looking like he’d been up for hours. “When did you last take a day off?” she asked without preamble. Ethan didn’t look up from his screen. I don’t know why. Because you’re burning out. And when you burn out, you’re useless to everyone, including your daughter. I’m fine.
You fell asleep during our last session. You forgot to pick Lily up from art class yesterday. You’re not fine. That got his attention. He looked up, eyes bloodshot. I didn’t forget. I was in a meeting that ran late. You forgot. Lily called me from school crying because you weren’t there and wouldn’t answer your phone. Ethan’s face went pale.
She called you? She didn’t know who else to call. I picked her up and took her home. She was there for 3 hours before you even noticed. I Ethan put his head in his hands. I thought she had a ride arranged. She did. You were supposed to be that ride. Clare sat down across from him. Ethan, I know the company is important.
I know you’ve built something incredible, but if you keep this up, you’re going to lose Lily. Not eventually, now. I’m trying to balance everything. The board is pushing for expansion into three new markets. We have investors breathing down our necks. The competition is I don’t care about the competition. I care about your daughter who spent last night convinced that her father cares more about stock prices than her. Ethan flinched.
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