PART 8:

Emma always got pepperoni and always picked off half the pepperoni to eat separately. Adrian got a slice of plain and a beer he didn’t finish. “Dad?” “Yeah, trouble?” “You seem different today.” Adrian looked up sharply. “Different how?” “I don’t know.” “Less tired, maybe?” “You smiled at Mrs.

Castellanos before the game, and you never smile at Mrs. Castellanos before games.” “I smile at Mrs. Castellanos.” “Not like that. That was a real smile.” “What’s a fake smile?” “The one you do when you’re trying to make me think you’re okay, but you’re actually thinking about bills or work or something boring.” Adrian set down his pizza.

“You’re too smart for eight.” “I’m actually very normal for eight. You just think I’m not paying attention.” Emma swung her legs under the table. “So, what’s different?” “Nothing’s different.” “Dad.” “Emma.” She gave him a look that was far too knowing for someone who still believed in the tooth fairy. “Is it a girl?” Adrian choked on his beer.

“It’s a girl,” Emma said, delighted. “Oh my gosh, Dad, you like someone.” “I don’t That’s not Where did you even get that idea?” “You have the same face Marcus had when he liked Zoe in our class, all weird and smiley and far away.” “I do not have a face.” “You absolutely have a face.” Emma leaned forward, eyes sparkling.

“What’s her name? Is she nice? Does she like dolphins?” “There’s no girl.” “Liar.” “Emma.” “It’s okay if there’s a girl, Dad. You’re allowed to like people. Mrs. Castellanos says you work too much and never date anyone, and that’s why you look so old sometimes.” “Mrs. Castellanos needs to mind her own business.

” “She says that’s impossible when your business is so loud.” Emma grinned. “So, what’s her name?” Adrian sighed. There was no winning this fight. “Selena.” “Selena,” Emma repeated, testing it out. “That’s pretty. What does she do?” “She works in my building.” “Doing what?” “Managing things.” “That’s boring. Is she boring?” “No, she’s not boring.

” “Is she nice?” Adrian thought about Selena sitting across from him in the coffee shop, talking about loneliness and fear and wanting to feel like she mattered. “Yeah, I think she is.” “Then why do you look scared?” “I’m not scared.” Emma gave him that look again, the one that said she could see right through him. “You’re scared.

” “You get wrinkly here when you’re scared.” She pointed at the space between his eyebrows. “I’m not scared. I’m just cautious.” “What’s the difference?” “Cautious is smart. Scared is just scared.” “But you like her?” Adrian met his daughter’s eyes. “Yeah, I like her.” “Then you should tell her.” “It’s more complicated than that.

” “Why?” “Because adult stuff is always more complicated.” Emma rolled her eyes with the exaggerated drama of someone who’d been eight for exactly four months. “That’s a cop-out.” “A what?” “A cop-out. Mrs. Castellanos taught me that, too. It’s when you make excuses because you don’t want to do something hard.

” “I’m not making excuses.” “You are, though. You like her, she probably likes you, but you’re scared it’ll mess things up, so you’re going to just be sad instead.” Emma picked a pepperoni off her pizza. “That’s dumb.” “Watch your language.” “Dumb’s not a bad word.” “It’s not a nice word.” “It’s an accurate word.

” She pointed her pepperoni at him. “You tell me all the time that being scared is okay, but letting scared stop you from trying is not okay. Remember when I didn’t want to try soccer because I thought I’d be bad at it?” “That’s different.” “How?” Adrian didn’t have an answer. Emma ate her pepperoni triumphantly. “You should ask Selena to dinner, like a real dinner, not just pizza at Romano’s.

” “I’ll think about it.” “That means no.” “It means I’ll think about it.” “Dad.” “Emma.” She sighed like he was the most exhausting person on the planet. “Fine. But when you’re old and alone and I have to take care of you, I’m going to say I told you so.” “You’re eight. You’re not taking care of me.” “Not yet. But someday I’ll be big and you’ll be old, and then we’ll see who’s right.

” Adrian reached across the table and ruffled her hair. She squawked in protest but didn’t pull away. “Love you, trouble.” “Love you, too, even when you’re being dumb about girls.” That night, after Emma was asleep and the apartment was quiet, Adrian’s phone buzzed with a text from Selena. “Thank you for today.

I know it was risky.” He typed back, “Yeah, it was.” “Worth it?” Adrian stared at that question for a long time. In the next room, Emma was breathing soft and steady, safe in the life he’d built for her. Outside, a car alarm went off and someone yelled at someone else to shut it off. Normal sounds, normal life.

“I don’t know yet,” he typed. “Ask me again later.” “How much later?” “Give me a few days to panic properly.” He could almost hear her laugh through the screen. “Fair enough,” she sent. “But Adrian.” “Yeah?” “I meant what I said. I’m not trying to mess up your life. I just want to be part of it.” “That’s the same thing.

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