PART 6:

And you know what? I’m lonely. I’m so goddamn lonely that some nights I sit in my office until midnight because going home to an empty penthouse feels worse than just staying at work. Adrian felt something crack open in his chest. Everyone wants something from me, Selena continued. Investors want returns, employees want promotions, the board wants growth, men want well, you can guess what men want.

And I’ve learned to handle all of it. I’m good at being what people need me to be. But then you show up and you don’t want anything. You don’t even look at me. And when I finally make you look at me, you tell me the truth in a way that makes it clear you’d rather not have said it at all. She paused. That got my attention.

I’m not trying to be mysterious, Adrian said. I’m trying to survive. I know. That’s why I believe you. They sat with that for a minute. Outside, a couple walked by with a stroller, laughing about something Adrian couldn’t hear. Normal people living normal lives. Unaware that two people inside a coffee shop were trying to figure out if they were about to make the best or worst decision of their lives.

I have a daughter, Adrian said. Emma. She’s eight. And she’s the only thing that matters to me. I know. You mentioned her. No, I don’t think you understand. She’s not just important. She’s everything. Every choice I make, every risk I take or don’t take, it all comes back to her. Her mother left when she was a baby.

No warning, no explanation, just gone. Emma doesn’t remember her, which I guess is a mercy, but it also means I’m all she has. I’m her whole world. He met Selena’s eyes. So when I say I can’t afford to screw this up, I mean it literally. If I lose my job, we lose our apartment. If we lose our apartment, Emma loses the only home she’s ever known.

If I start something with you and it falls apart and the whole company finds out and I get fired because of it, that’s not just my life that gets destroyed. It’s hers. Selena was very still. I would never let that happen, she said. You can’t promise that. Neither can I. That’s the problem. So what are you saying? That we shouldn’t even try? Adrian rubbed his face, exhausted.

I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m saying I’m terrified. I’m saying that every instinct I have is screaming at me to walk away from this before it gets complicated. And I’m also saying that I drove 20 miles to have coffee with you because apparently I’m not as smart as I thought I was. A smile ghosted across Selena’s face.

For what it’s worth, I’m terrified, too. Of what? Of wanting something I can’t control. Of letting someone in and having them leave. Of being wrong about you. She paused. Of being right about you and then losing you anyway. Adrian’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it. I don’t have anything to offer you, he said.

No fancy dinners, no expensive gifts, no weekends in Paris or whatever it is people like you do. People like me? You know what I mean. I really don’t. Selena leaned back in her chair. You think I want expensive gifts? I can buy myself anything I want. You think I need fancy dinners? I eat alone in Michelin star restaurants because it’s expected and I hate every minute of it.

You think I care about Paris? She shook her head. I’ve been to Paris six times for work. I’ve never actually seen it. Just hotel conference rooms and airport lounges. Then what do you want? I want someone to look at me like I’m not a balance sheet. I want someone to tell me the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. I want She stopped, seemed to reconsider, then pushed forward anyway.

I want to feel like I matter to someone for reasons that have nothing to do with what I can do for them. The barista dropped something behind the counter and they both jumped slightly. The moment broke and reformed into something different, less confrontational, more tentative. Tell me about Emma, Selena said.

Adrian blinked at the subject change. What do you want to know? Anything. Everything. What’s she like? So he told her. He told her about Emma’s obsession with dolphins and how she’d memorized the names of 20 different species. He told her about the time Emma had tried to make him breakfast in bed for his birthday and had somehow managed to burn scrambled eggs so badly the smoke alarm went off.

He told her about parent-teacher conferences where Emma’s teacher said she was reading three grades above level but struggled with sitting still. He told her about the way Emma fell asleep clutching her bear and the way she laughed at her own jokes before she even got to the punchline. Selena listened to all of it, asked questions, smiled in the right places.

And somewhere in the telling, Adrian realized he was talking about Emma the way he never got to talk about her. Not as a responsibility or a logistics problem, but as a whole person who amazed him daily. She sounds incredible, Selena said when he finally ran out of words. She is. She’s better than I deserve.

I doubt that. You don’t know me well enough to doubt it. Maybe not. But I’m a pretty good judge of character. Comes with the job. Selena finished her cappuccino. Can I tell you something? Sure. I grew up poor. Not middle-class pretending to be poor poor. Actually poor. My mom cleaned houses and my dad drove a taxi until he died when I was 12.

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