Part 20:

“Who I am,” she whispered. Erys’s brows drew together. She kept her eyes on the glass instead of on him. When I was a child, I read a book about a girl everyone envied. The bright one, she went on, turning the stem slow between her fingers. Everyone wanted her for a friend. Every man wanted her for more than that.

She had the perfect life. The candle threw light up the side of her face. Aeros didn’t move, didn’t reach for his wine. He just let her talk. Isabella’s mouth tipped. Not quite a smile. And then one day she figured out it was only the look of a perfect life. She’d learned how to be wanted long before she ever learned how to be known.

She lifted her eyes to him for the first time since she’d started. And when it hit her that nobody had ever actually seen the real her, she found out what she was really afraid of, which was Iris’s voice was quiet. Isabella’s gaze dropped. What if no one wants the real me? He had gone very still across the table, watching her in a way he hadn’t a moment ago, like a man recalculating something.

Isabella felt the look land and reached for her drink too fast. “It was only a book,” she added, lighter. “I had too much time as a girl.” She tipped the wine back and swallowed more of it than she meant to. “Why had she told him any of that? The words had come out of her before she’d decided to let them. That was the problem with him, with the low voice and the eyes that didn’t move off her, sitting there across the candles like the night belonged to him.

A minute more of it, and she’d have answered anything he asked. The thought put an edge in her, and she held on to the edge because it was steadier than the rest of what she was feeling. Aos let it go, or looked like he did. And what happened to her? His voice stayed low. The girl in the book. Isabella smiled. Small.

She got a life nothing like the one she thought she wanted. A husband, children, a small town somewhere she never once imagined she’d end up. Her voice had gone somewhere softer without her meaning it to. And she heard it and pulled it back. But it’s a story. Stories always finish happy. The smile thinned.

Reality is a great deal harder than that. Aeros did not answer right away. He only watched her across the table, the wine untouched in his hand. Now maybe she was afraid of the wrong thing. The words came quiet, almost to himself. The shine was never the interesting part. Isabella looked up. Os’s eyes held hers. The part she hid was. It went straight through her.

the way the truth does when it comes from someone who doesn’t know he’s saying it. Isabella held the glass a little too tightly and kept her eyes down away from his, not trusting what he might read on her face. OS set his glass down. Anita, his voice dropped just enough to pull her eyes to him.

You asked why I care about you. Let me tell you what I see. He lifted his glass a little, tipped it toward her. A beautiful young woman first. Any man with blood in him would see that much. The corner of his mouth moved. But that’s the easy part. Any fool stops there. Isabella kept her eyes on her plate. She’d been called beautiful before by men who wanted something from her and never once meant it. It had always landed like nothing.

She waited for the same nothing now. It didn’t come. Aos wasn’t finished. Then you open your mouth and you fight me. There’s a fire in you that doesn’t ask permission. His eyes stayed on her. But it isn’t the fire that holds me, Anita. It’s the woman underneath it. The one who looks like she spent her whole life carrying her own weight because she never trusted anyone to hold it without letting her fall.

He leaned in just slightly. A woman like that doesn’t put the weight down for just anyone. His eyes held hers. That’s what makes a man want to be dangerous enough to earn the right. Isabella swallowed and looked out at the water before he could catch what the words had done to her. When she turned back, she’d found the fire again.

You’ve known me 2 days. That’s a lot of confidence for a man who knows nothing about me. How could you? Aos sat back and looked at her. A few seconds. To her, it felt like a lot longer. She felt like he could see straight through her, like there was nothing left to hide behind, and no man in 25 years had ever made her feel that.

How a man like him had gotten this far under her skin, she had no idea. and somewhere under all of it. A smaller voice told her to be careful. He saw too much. One wrong word and he’d see the rest. When he answered, it was quiet. Because I know what it’s like to never get to be your own person. His eyes didn’t leave her.

To live the part you’re handed. To be afraid of who’s left if you set it down and fight to hold on to whatever piece of yourself is still yours. Isabella bit the inside of her lip to keep her face from giving her away. Oros rested his arms on the table and looked at the sea a while. The quiet stretched out between them, his hand shifted once near the stem of his glass as if he’d almost reached across the table and thought better of it.

Isabella saw it, felt it all the way to the bone, her stomach pulling tight and her heart refusing to settle. Then he turned back to her. You can’t really know someone in two days. His voice had dropped, and for a moment he wasn’t holding it back. If I’d had the choice, Anita, I’d have met you before this war.

His eyes stayed on her. Then I’d have taken my time. It hit her low and stayed there. There was a truth right behind her teeth, pushing to get out. She looked down before he could see it. A maid named Anita had no reason in the world to cry at a thing like that. Without taking his eyes off her, Aeros lifted a hand and signaled toward the doors behind her.

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