PART 15:

The concert ended with all the classes singing together. Parents stood applauding. Kids bowed awkwardly. Teachers looked relieved it was over. Emma ran over as soon as they were dismissed. Did you see? Did you see me? You were amazing, Victoria said. I remembered all the words this time. Last year, I forgot the second verse and just hummed really loud. Ryan laughed.

You were very committed to that humming. Can Tori come to cookies? Emma asked. Ryan’s smile faded. Emma, please. She came all this way. It’s okay, Victoria said quickly. I don’t want to intrude. You’re not intruding, Michelle said. Right, Ryan. Ryan shot his sister a look. You’re very helpful. >> I know. It’s one of my best qualities.

Emma grabbed Victoria’s hand and Ryan’s hand. Please, just cookies. I promise I’ll go to bed right after without arguing. You’re going to use that promise later, aren’t you? Ryan asked. Definitely, Ryan, looked at Victoria. Do you want to come for cookies? If it’s okay with you. I’m asking if you want to. Yes, I want to.

Okay, then come for cookies. They drove separately to Ryan’s apartment. Victoria followed his truck through streets she’d driven dozens of times before, back when she was still pretending to be someone else. The apartment looked the same, small, warm, full of Emma’s artwork and Ryan’s organized chaos. But Victoria felt different walking into it now.

No more pretending. No more Tory Brennan. Just Victoria Hail standing in a mechanic’s apartment about to eat burnt cookies. Emma immediately pulled out the plate of cookies. They were definitely burnt around the edges. Ryan looked embarrassed. I forgot to set a timer, he admitted. They’re perfect, Victoria said.

They sat at the small kitchen table. Emma talked non-stop about the concert, about school, about how Chester the Squirrel had gotten into Mrs. Patterson’s bird feeder, and there’d been a dramatic rescue operation. Ryan was quiet. He kept glancing at the envelope he’d set on the counter. After cookies, Emma started yawning despite her promises to stay awake.

Ryan carried her to bed. Victoria could hear him reading through the walls, his voice doing different characters, Emma’s sleepy giggles. Victoria stood in the kitchen, not sure what to do with herself. Should she leave? Should she stay? Should she say something or wait for Ryan to come back? She was washing the cookie plate when Ryan emerged from Emma’s room. She went down fast.

He said that concert took everything out of her. She was great tonight. Yeah. Ryan picked up the envelope. Can I read this now? You can read it whenever you want or not at all. I want to read it now. He sat down on the couch. Victoria stayed in the kitchen giving him space, trying not to watch his face as he read.

The letter was 10 pages, handwritten. Victoria had spent hours on it, trying to get the words right, explaining her childhood, her loneliness, her fear. The 27 men who’d failed. Her mother’s warnings that she’d never know if someone loved her or her money. Meeting Ryan, falling for him despite planning not to.

The moment she realized she loved him and knew she had to tell the truth, but couldn’t figure out how. Emma getting attached, the panic of watching the lie grow bigger. The knowledge that every day she didn’t confess made it worse. And finally, the day at the diner. The look on Ryan’s face when she told him, the way she’d felt watching him walk away.

She didn’t ask for forgiveness, didn’t try to excuse what she’d done, just laid it all out honestly, and let him decide what to do with it. Ryan read slowly. Victoria watched the microwave clock tick minutes by. 5 minutes, 10, 15. Finally, he set the letter down, looked at her across the small apartment.

“Come sit,” he said. Victoria sat on the other end of the couch, kept distance between them. “I’m sorry,” she said, “for all of it. You deserve the truth from the beginning.” “Yeah, I did. I was scared. That’s not an excuse, but it’s the reason. I’ve been hurt so many times by people who wanted to use me, and you were different.

And that scared me even more because I had something real to lose. Ryan was quiet for a long moment. Do you know what the hardest part has been this past week? What? Emma keeps asking about you and I don’t know what to tell her because I don’t know what we are or if there’s a we anymore. He ran his hand through his hair. She’s six.

She doesn’t understand complexity. She just knows that you were here and now you’re not. And she wants you back. I want to be back. As who? Victoria or Tori as me. Just me. No more lying. No more testing. Just whoever I actually am when I’m not trying to be someone else. And who is that? Victoria thought about it. Really thought about it.

Someone who’s good at running a company but terrible at running her own life. Someone who overthinks everything. Someone who’s scared of being alone but even more scared of being with someone who doesn’t really see her. I saw you even when you were lying about everything else. I saw parts of you that were real.

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